Mom Update

I haven't talked about the "mom processing" stuff in a while. That's simply because there hasn't been anything new to share. Until now....

My little sister Jessica actually spoke with my mother a few weeks ago.

WOW.

She called to tell me the other night. It's interesting. I really think it's Jesus. And yet, I find that I'm completely void of emotions (which is interesting and troubling all on its own).

If I get the story correct, a friend told my sister that she and her family had just heard about a long lost uncle of theirs who had died a few months back. The city or wherever he was pronounced dead didn't know of any family so they had him cremated. The family just found out about this.

It set my sister on this path to find out about our mother - mainly because, God-forbid my mother had died too, she didn't want it to be years and years until we as a family found out and she didn't want my mother to die with no family being a part of her life.

So, Jessica googled the only address we have for my mom (to her caseworker or something) and in a round about way got a hold of someone who actually interacts with my mother on a near-daily basis.

Eventually (because they're very good - I'm being sincere here - at protecting my mother), my sister was able to call some number and leave a message with her own cell phone number on it. The next day or so, my mother called Jessie.

They only talked for about five minutes, I guess. And from what Jessica says, it was quite evident that my mother's sicker than ever (case in point: the reason they got off the phone so soon is because my mother was legitimately concerned for Jessica's safety...that someone was listening in on the call and was going to hurt my sister because she was in contact with my mom).

Jessie's planning to keep in somewhat limited, though regular contact with my mom. And, I think it's wonderful. But, it's interesting for me because I feel like I'm having a mixed response. On the one hand, I feel obligated to be a part of this and contact my mom as well. But, on the other hand, I don't really want any part of it - life has been (somewhat) stable for the ten years since she left. I don't know that I want her back in my life if the instablity comes back too.

I prayed years ago that I only wanted her back in my life if she (a) was completely better and (b) knew Jesus - selfish prayers, I know. Yet, I find myself feeling the same way right now.

Jessie feels like our mom's sickness is completely spiritual so she's praying that she'll get better and come to know Jesus...and I'm excited she is. But, I think this may be one thing that I don't need to be a part of for now. I guess we'll see what happens from here on out....