Update #1

Just found out that everyone in our office is getting a temporary pay cut...20%....not even sure how much that amounts to a month for me yet...but at least I didn't lose my job! :) And, I totally think it's the Lord's perfect timing that I've gotten a roommate who's moving in right now (her rent will make up approx 1/2 of what I'm losing at DW) and that I'm going away for the weekend to do some planning for this freelance stuff. TOTALLY the Lord.

I knew something was up...there's been all sorts of scurrying this week....and the unknown was so taxing. So, just knowing what the "something" is is actually quite relieving. And, strangely, I'm not really freaked out by this....it's obviously not pleasant but I feel strangely at peace. With a 20% cut, that also means a 20% reduction in my hours....so, 8 fewer hours a week.

And, DW is willing to be totally flexible to work with me as far as how I take the time off - one full day a week or two afternoons a week or whatever I need to work out a potential part-time job or doing freelance stuff or whatever.

So, please pray with me for this weekend that I really would emerge with a plan mapped out on how to not only sustain my finances but actually get out of debt and be able to move forward with the freelance stuff as well as how to reach out to my community and do all the compassion stuff that's been building in my heart.

Praying, Planning, Transitioning

It's been a while since I've written here. I'm not even sure that anyone reads this anymore....but, if you do, I'd love it if you'd pray long with me...specifically this weekend as I get away regroup, pray and plan.

You've probably each heard me talk at some point about how a long term goal and dream for my life is to help the less fortunate, to have a home that's a refuge to the broken, to be a foster parent, to adopt children, etc etc etc.

Over the years, the dream's seemed so far off and practically impossible at times and at others, it's been as if I've felt the breath of the Lord on me as He's reawakened, redirected, reaffirmed and reminded me of this passion. Tiny doors have been opened - opened just wide enough to know that this dream really is part of His call on my life...probably the biggest call ever on my life. And, as those doors have opened slightly, I've always tried to push them open wider and go faster than I was supposed to. It's been so frustrating at times...but looking back, I'm so thankful for each turn and lesson along the way.

For the past six to eight months, the door just keeps opening wider even as I've been cautious (finally having learned that God will widen it in His timing, I don't need to). For example:

• First it was really stepping into overseeing the Wholeness (Counseling) ministry of my church,
• then releasing oversight of the Worship ministry,
• then so many in my chuch prepping to adopt,
• others pursuing foster parenting,
• realizing that I have the tools to start my own business (freelance writing/editing/resumes, etc) that will eventually free me from the confines of an 8-5 office job,
• some deep freedom and healing of some deeply-rooted pain and judgment.
• Then the enormous emotional response I've had to the earthquake in Haiti (honestly, not normal for me...I'm ashamed to admit that neither the Tsunami in Indonesia nor Hurricane Katrina affected me this much),
• most-recently, meeting my small group's refugee family who's just come from the Congo.

God's definitely expanding my heart and making it obvious that it's really time to move ahead with some of this stuff. It's all so exciting. Humbling. Overwhelming, Thrilling. Yet, honestly, a bit paralyzing.

It's a lttle crazy to grasp that "it's time" (literally THE phrase the Lord spoke to me a few months ago) to move ahead into some of the largest and most-enduring dreams of my life.

And, to be honest, I don't know what specifically I'm supposed to be moving ahead with. So, I'm getting away this weekend to decompress and pray through it all. Please pray that I emerge feeling closer to Jesus and with more answers than questions for all of this - as well as an idea of the things I need to lay down in order to proceed ahead with this new stuff.

Thanks so much!