So many things

I've found myself stalling from writing an entry simply because I just don't know what to say and where to start. But, the problem is, the longer I wait, the more I have to share and that in itself paralizes me from writing. You see, it's an ugly cycle.

My trip was really wonderful. I've mentioned some of the highlights and the crazy stories and I've shared all my pictures. But, so much more happened - there are so many thoughts, observations, conversations and events that I've done well at journaling about but would take days' worth of posts to share...and I just don't think that's going to happen.

I loved getting to spend so much time with Jennie and create this memory with her - especially as she's just accepted a position to work in Uganda for a year, starting in mid-August. What an unbelievable blessing to get to take this trip with her.

I loved getting to swim in the Mediterranean Sea - it's been a dream of mine for as long as I can remember, and I got to do it last week.

I loved the beauty of the Cinque Terre.

I loved the tangible peace and sense of God's presence in Assisi.

I loved the yummy Italian food and wine.

I loved all the unique and ridiculous things, people and situations we encountered.

I loved the time I got to really spend time with the Lord and pray and process through some big stuff.

I loved the time I got to disconnect from my regular life, from the internet (for the most part) and from being so accessible and plugged in all the time.

And, I loved coming home.

I think I learned in very real sense that I absolutely LOVE to travel and see the world, I love to explore, to watch people and see how other cultures do things. There were so many times throughout the trip where I really wished I could have been a fly on the wall 500 years ago to see the places I was visiting uninterrupted and functioning before so many tourists consistantly came through. And, I'd love to be able to do that everywhere in the world...to get a sense of what things are really like there...or were really like before they were disturbed...how things really work.

But, I also realized that I am definitely created to live exactly where I live, that I love my house, my community, my church, my friends, my job and my life here in Denver. Ten days away was the perfect length of time for my vacation - it wasn't so long that I was sick of being in Italy but it wasn't so short that I was sad to come home. In fact, I couldn't wait to come back and nearly cried with tears of glee in landing at the Denver airport on Saturday evening.

But what has also been so wonderful has been coming home and seeing how much I am loved and cared for here. It's not that I have a complex that I'm not loved or cared for. But, as I'm sure everyone feels from time to time, I think I sometimes doubt how important I am or how much I matter to people or how vital I am in my job, etc. And, in coming back, I have been blown away with people's expressions of gratitude that I've returned.

There are the few close friends at church who were just so thrilled - gasping with excitement and saying "I just didn't realize you were going to be back already" or exclaiming, "when we all got together this past weekend, I just kept feeling like wow, someone's missing and if Natalie were just here, it'd be perfect" or calling me up just to say "I'm so thrilled that you're home."

Then there are my co-workers - the girls who covered for me thrilled that I'm back and so appreciative of the job I do on a regular basis as they got a better understanding of all I do while I was away, others saying that it just wasn't the same without me or that it was so apparent that the office was struggling without me, etc etc etc.

And, it's not that I need my ego struck or anything but it's just so exciting and encouraging (and honestly humblingly surprising and satisfying) that I really am loved and cared for here. It has been an unexpected gift that Jesus has given me.