Love is patient....?

Lately, I've been reading from 1 Corinthians. And Tuesday, I was reading chapter 13 - the well known "love chapter." You know....love is patient, love is kind, it does not envy, it does not boast...." It's most-often read at weddings.

Well anyway, I was reading it Tuesday morning and the lines that really stuck out to me (though I've read that chapter nearly a million times) were: "Love is patient....[it] always hopes, always perseveres."

So, I sat there and meditated on the words for a while and prayed about it, asking God to enable me to really love people well by showing patience, hope and perseverance for/toward them...whether they know Jesus or not.

Great prayer...but of course, once you pray something like that, you're always tested in those very things. And, I was. Of course.

I've been walking through some pastoring issues with one particular couple at my church...and for a long time, I've had such hope and grace for them....such compassion...as I can see the root behind what's going on on the surface. But, of course, Tuesday, I completely lost it!

First, in a phone conversation with the husband, it took everything in me to extend grace and understanding and patience...and I don't think I suceeded really well.

But, that's just nothing to how I interacted with his wife later that evening. I've been sort of mentoring her and so we get together at least once a month. And, while I know she's got lots of wounding in her past (and actually, our stories are quite similar...she reminds me so much of myself), during this particular time together, I was just so frustrated and irritated. No grace. No compassion. I acted tired, disinterested, frustrated that she couldn't see the truth I was speaking to her...that the Lord's been speaking to her (and she was sharing with me....that was the most irritating...that she just couldn't see the freedom and truth in the WORDS SHE WAS SPEAKING)....and, aware of my bad attitude, I was really trying (specifically toward the end) to be kind and supportive and gracious (while still extending truth). I don't know that it worked very well...but I was trying.

And, as I walked out of the Starbucks, I muttered some pathetic prayer to the Lord - or maybe it was really just a complaint. Somthing like "Oh, when is she going to get it? This is just so frustrating! I just don't have the patience for this one. I'm losing hope...I don't think I'm the one to walk through this stuff with them anymore."

And, that's when it hit me: real love means exhibiting patience and hope FOR the person...it means persevering FOR them even when they don't really get it...or don't want to get it...or can't get it....it's believing the best and pushing them toward it. And, that's completely what I didn't do on Tuesday. When it hit me, I was just so ashamed....and repented before Jesus.

This stuff is HARD.

What's just so interesting is that I exhibit all sorts of grace, hope and patience for those who don't know Jesus...but lately, I've got none for those who do. As if they should just "get it" rather than realizing that everyone - whether they know Jesus or not - has issues, struggles, blind areas and pain that they need to work though.

And, I'm just in awe of how Jesus has never given up on me...He continually is patient, He continually thinks the best, hopes for the best and perseveres in my life for the best. I want to be able to do that too....but this week, I've not done such a great job.