Another Example of His Grace

I realized that with the pain and sadness I've carried regarding the layoffs last week, part of that pain was anger toward God for laying those folks off.

I was angry that I had invested so much time in these people (whether in person or in prayer) and now they were gone. I felt like there was no hope for these nine people to ever know Jesus if they weren't around me.

WOA! SO ARROGANT!

As if I'm THE only one who shows them Jesus. As if I'm THE one who changes hearts. WOA!


By Wednesday, the Lord had really gotten me back to reality - that He's the one who changes hearts, He's the one who pursues people, He's the one who offers salvation, He's the one who is still with each of those nine people (yes....another one was let go on Wednesday...so the total is currently at nine) even if they're not in my office anymore...it's ALL HIM. And, He just let's me participate for moments and seasons.


So, of course, I quickly repented of that!

But, maybe I'm also a little ballsy.....

After I repented of being so arrogant to think that I'm the only one God can use to bring these folks to Him, I did ask that He'd give me some sort of evidence that my prayers, heart, love and focus for all my co-workers hasn't been in vain....that He really does want to use me in their lives (even if for a season...and even if I never get to see any of them come to Jesus).

And, because He's just so kind and so gracious, He did just that this weekend. After months and months of building equity and relationships with them all but not really having any significant spiritual conversations, I had THREE in the span of four HOURS.

ARE YOU KIDDING ME RIGHT NOW?! :)

No one has come to Jesus...yet. :)

Turns out one of the guys used to sing in a "praise band" and has "lost his faith" because of the hypocritical and fake people at his former church. But he kept asking me questions and we talked for a long while about Jesus and what it means to follow Jesus as opposed to being a "Christian."

Another one of them used to date a "fundamentalist baptist preacher's daughter" so he "knows all the ropes" but wants to know why I haven't invited him to church. I told him that there's more to faith in Jesus than simply going to church and that, while he's certainly welcome to come anytime, I didn't want that to be the main point/thrust of my interactions with him about Jesus.

And, finally, the last one (TW) I've been praying for for over a year....most recently, specifically that on his sabbatical he'd interact with someone who'd share Jesus with him in ways that I've not had the opportunity to yet. On Saturday night, he told me that he and an old high school friend (who's a catholic priest and missionary to a university) talked for a long time about what it means to integrate faith into real life....and how to life a normal life with Christ at the center of it.

ARE YOU KIDDING ME RIGHT NOW?

I'm just in awe.....