Bored

I've worked as an office manager/receptionist/jack-of-all-office-trades for nearly five years. In those five years, there have been ups and downs but for the most part, I've absolutely adored my job.

The last two years have definitely been different from the first three...with the financial crisis and bad economy, our industry has been one of the hardest hit. Our office has gone from 75 to 30 people; our firm has gone from nearly 200 to just under 70. It's been brutal. And, given the nature of my responsibilities, with fewer projects and fewer people in our office, I have more time on my hands than I once did. I know I should be grateful for my job (and I am) but I'm just plain bored.

For a season, being a little less busy was a nice respite. It gave me the chance to do some of my "church work" while getting paid by my office. But, since I've relinquished nearly all of my church responsibilities in the past few months (to focus on my business and new things I feel are in the works), I actually have far less to do in that arena.

Then, I was busy kicking off my new business so I was able to do some of that work while at my office. But, all the start-up details (website, business cards, facebook page, policies, pricing structures, etc) are now complete. And, literally, I have nothing to do...and yet am stuck at a desk for 9 hours a day.

Today, for instance, I completed all my tasks by 10am. That leaves me with seven hours to kill and/or try to look busy. Killer. I was made for more than this.

A few weeks ago, I had my staff review and told my boss just how bored I am. I asked for more work to do...and specifically asked (AGAIN) if it'd be possible to be a part of reviewing all the documents that go out of our office. (I work with very, very talented visionaries and designers...but they really are not the best writers or most detail-oriented people. You'd be shocked at the stuff that goes out the door sometimes. The content is typically stellar...the package, delivery and text quite lacking. )

I've made this request before...and have had the chance to review different documents at different times...but it's nothing that's regular or mandated. It's been hard for me to know that such poorly written and edited documents are leaving our office and for it to be, seemingly, unimportant to people. I've made the case over and over again that in a season of such lean project opportunities, we need to put our absolute best foot forward to secure new work. It's seemingly fallen on deaf ears (mainly because people are "too busy" to build more time into the schedule to allow for review time).

Until my recent staff review. This time, my boss actually offered some hope by saying that some of our principals have recently awakened to the dire need to have all of our proposals reviewed. And, that there's a chance that my role could officially expand to include reviewing every proposal that goes out that door - that there'd be a new policy enacted that unless I review a proposal, it does not get submitted to a potential client.

He even said that he thinks there's a chance that as things improve in the office/firm overall, he could envision my stepping out of the office manager/receptionist role completely and working full-time as the firm's editor and writer. YES!!!!!

That's all very exciting but I find myself super cynical about it. There are a number of hoops through which I'd have to jump to make this possible. And certain leaders in the firm who'd have to agree and really fight for me. And, if history proves anything, it has proven that - at least at my company - people tend to be more talk than action in situations like this.

I got some prayer about this yesterday at church and felt like the Lord was reminding me to hope in Him and to not be afraid, to fight for the things I want and be tenacious about fighting, and to believe that this "bored" season was initiated so that I'd actually get creative and do something. So, I'm trying to muster up some hope and push a little harder than I have been to make things happen with this role...but, still, I find myself cynical.

Maybe I'm not even supposed to be at this job anymore. I am dreaming of one day going full time with Writing for a CHANGE...so, maybe this is the time to go out and take the plunge. (I actually don't think it's time for that yet...though I know that time will come sooner rather than later.) I don't think I'm supposed to leave yet - I know that I'm here to reach out to my co-workers...there is finally some traction in that area (I'll share about in another post) so I know it's not time to go anywhere yet.

I just think it's ridiculous that I'm qualified (15+ yrs experience, a degree in Public Relations, pursuing a copywriting certificate this fall and have my own business in this very field) to fill a legitimate need and yet there are too many hoops to jump to allow me to fill it. I'm bored...and I'm ready to fight this boredom.