Mercy

It's been months since I've said anything about the situation with my parents. Purposefully. But, events this past week warrant my giving an update and necessitate my having a chance to process some of what I experienced.

The divorce is all but final. The details messy and disappointing. And, yet, I see a thread of mercy through the entire situation. And, it overwhelms me.

Obviously, divorce is not a good thing. I don't think it's ideal. Nor do I think it was God's ultimate will for my dad and step-mom. But, yet, I see God's mercy in the midst of a bad situation.

My step-mother is effectively out of my life. And, though I'm not going to malign her here, I'd be lying if I said that I'm anything but relieved. There have been good moments over the years, but honestly, life is easier without her in mine.

The real bit of mercy here is for my father though. On the outside, his life is in shambles. He's retired and should be able to enjoy his retirement...resting on all that he's built his life to be over the years. And, instead, he finds himself, at 62, trying to figure out life on his own. Again. To make a new life, in a new city, with a community, alone.

But, he's actually better off than he's ever been.

I went to visit him this past week and I was truly blessed. While I've always loved my father and been grateful for the man he is, we've also had our difficult moments. Difficult beyond just typical father-daughter growing pains. So, admittedly, I was a bit tentative to see how our time together would be. But, I was pleasantly blessed and surprised by my visit.

In the midst of a season that is new, disorienting and lonely, he's doing amazingly well. He's more real and authentic than I've ever seen him. He's softer. Honest. Vulnerable. Open. Self-aware. Genuine. Not trying to prove anything. Not striving. Not defensive. He's got good people around him. He's making really good decisions. He's DIFFERENT.

While I don't think it was God's plan for my parents to divorce, I'm really seeing God's mercy in allowing it. To remove my father from a situation and a relationship that, in truth, was keeping him mired in pride, striving, greed and self was an act of mercy. And, moreso, to allow my father - albeit through a myriad of difficult, humbling situations - to understand the love, grace and mercy of God for him is also mercy. My dad is experiencing a vibrant, vulnerable, safe, real relationship with God and it's a beautiful, humbing, redeeming, invigorating thing for me to see.

My dad has a long road ahead of him in a few different ways, but, I'm so excited to see what's happening and I have so much hope for him - he's got a lot of good in front of him.

I'm so thankful for God's mercy. For him. For me. In general.