(For context, read Part 1, Part 2, Part 3 and Part 4)
During everything that'd happened up until this point, I was pleading and wrestling with the Lord on a daily (if not hourly or minute-by-minute basis). Praying for the pedestrian. Praying for myself. Questioning. Wondering. Crying. Researching. Anxiety and unrest were my closest companions.
Self-pity would set in at times (Why me? I'm a good person. What'd I do to deserve this?) and the Lord's constant answer was only: "He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous." (Matthew 5:45).
Not the answer I had been hoping for.
Then, on one specific day, seemingly out of the blue, I got an email from a church friend. She didn't know anything about the accident (or the issues surrounding it) as I had really tried hard to only tell those people closest to me. Her email said something along these lines:
I think I had a dream about you last night - and I think it was from the Lord. I have no idea what's going on in your life so maybe this is completely off base...but maybe pray about it and see if it makes any sense for you? I just felt like the Lord said that you're about to enter a season where it feels like He's stripping everything away from you...but that really, He's not...that what is going to feel like extreme loss will actually result in your knowing Him and His love in a deeper way.
Um. Intense? (I know it seems strange but I really do believe that God can speak today and sometimes does so through others in dreams.)
When I first read her message, it definitely felt true and resonated in my heart. But, in the moment (and the weeks to come), I mistakenly believed that what He was "stripping away" had already been stripped away - ie, that what had already happened as a result of the accident was as intense as it was going to get.
Again, little did I know.
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